Still Out There?

Not sure how many of you will ever see this, but for the near term, I've moved my writings to Unlikely Words. Take a look around and let me know what you think.

24: Episode 22, 4 AM - 5 AM

Key Words: 24, Jack Bauer,
What do we know? We know that regardless of the fact that millions of Americans were screaming simultaneously at the TV during last week's show for Jack Bauer to play the tape for someone, anyone, ANYONE! Apparently, they only delayed the show by 20 minutes and not 30, which would have made more sense. And apparently, I missed the ambush scene and about 10 NJBDs.
9:31: Motherfucker. I can't believe I just missed the first 10 minutes. This is just another reason to resent President Bush…
9:33: So who was torturing Aaron Pierce? Why is the president bargaining with him? And who is this other Secret Service agent? There's a reason the Secret Service doesn't work for the president, and I think Charles Logan is the reason.
9:37: There's nothing more annoying than someone getting a hundred lucky bounces and then gloating about it. The president had a gun in his mouth 20 minutes ago and now he's king of the world.
9:40: Buchannon just said "What would David Palmer do?" WWDPD, I want a bracelet.
9:42: Oh, the politics of survival. I think Christopher Henderson is a neo-con.
9:43: I'm actually really enjoying this scene between Jack Bauer and Henderson. It's a joust of Jack Bauer and someone who can at least carry Jack Bauer's underwear.
9:50: "Not a Phoenix. It's a poison pill firewall." Oh, Chloe, you've been doing so well lately. And now you've gone and said something annoying! Damn it!
9:51: What an inopportune time for the First Lady to be wandering aimlessly in a stable.
9:52: Yeah, it's definitely not in the Secret Service code to point a gun at the First Lady. That's for sure.
9:53: YES! NJBD: 1 (Evil Secret Service Agent). Way to go, First Lady! Wait, what's wrong with Aaron Pierce? Is he going to become the first person in the history of media to be killed by a gun butt hit to the head? That would be remarkable.
9:58: So Henderson said this guy would be able to tell if there was a wire and yet it's OK for C.T.U. to hang out outside? That makes sense.
10:01: "24" is really getting some great cameos this year. This bad guy is a face, right? I've seen him before.
10:02: I bet Christopher Henderson's double cross was some sort of rouge…
10:03: JBKC: 1 (Molina)
10:04: Christopher Henderson obviously had this planned out, so why wouldn't he tell Jack Bauer in advance? I guess he just wanted Jack Bauer to look stupid. Well, Chris, it worked.
10:10: Next year, it should be "24" starring Aaron Pierce and Curtis Manning. I'd watch that show and I wouldn't ever complain.
10:13: Is this the first time that Jack Bauer has warned someone and they've sprung immediately into action? I think so.
10:13: NJBD: 1 (The Captain)
10:14: NJBD: 10? (The sailors)
10:15: I can't believe "24" had the balls to let Bierko escape, and let him have a back up plan that includes a Russian submarine. This is a total "I'm Keith Hernandez" moment. They think we'll believe anything. Next week there's going to be a pizzly bear, just wait.
1 JBKC, 0 tortures, 21 NJBD, Prediction Ratio n/a
2 hour finale next week. Should be great. Or watchable at least. I may actually have to watch part of the show on some sort of tape delay. We'll see. We'll see.
Totals for the season, 37 JBKCs, 5 tortures, 148 NJBDs, Prediction Ratio 45% (5 out of 11)

24: Episode 21, 3 AM - 4 AM

Key Words: 24, Jack Bauer,

I'm going to be upset with the outcome of this.

9:03: Please, Jack Bauer. Please figure out a way for other people to listen to the tape…
9:04: Ha! I knew that Secretary Raines survived!
9:04: I like how this guy talking to the president is so matter of fact when he's talking about shooting down a plane.
9:06: What consequences is that guy talking about? Wouldn't they just deny any involvement?
9:09: Come on, Novick, talk them out of it. It's really their only choice.
9:09: I wonder what the time differential between the 15 minutes the military guy said they had left to shoot the plane down and the 21 minutes it will take to land the plane they talked about a few minutes ago. It's really impossible to tell in the "24" reality.
9:10: President Logan is several different clichés all at once. It's so ridiculous.
9:17: Why does Jack Bauer still say, "This is Bauer" when he picks up his phone? People know who he is, that's why they call him.
9:17: "5 minutes away".
9:18: "1 minute to missile launch". That was the fastest 4 minutes ever.
9:20: They can't shoot it down if it's landing.
9:20: Abort. Hold fire. President Logan almost lost it there.
9:22: Seriously? They couldn't let the plane go under the overpass and rip off the wings… I was braced for some shearing. What a missed opportunity! I haven't been this disappointed in several weeks. The pilot said they needed 5000 feet for a regular landing. He somehow was able to increase his speed and angle of descent dramatically AND still land in less space than usual? There's only one explanation. The ground is allergic to Jack Bauer. Jack Bauer's presence in the front of the aircraft provided just enough repulsion for the plane's nose to not go plummeting into the ground.
9:29: Damn, Curtis. He should be promoted. He's the Tony Almeda of a new generation! "This is not the Jack Bauer you are looking for." "This is not the Jack Bauer we are looking for. Move along." I want a Curtis T-Shirt.
9:30: Jack Bauer REALLY needs to play the tape for someone else, please.
9:30: Miles the Snake. I hope he saves the day.
9:30: What is Chloe working on now? She finished the airplane tracking thing, right?
9:32: Miles the Snake is such a bitch. He's been acting like Dwight Schroot more and more. His voice even sounds like Dwight.
9:33: Why are they transporting this guy when they don't transport anyone else? They still have Christopher Henderson in there, right?
9:34: There's no possible way that Bierko would have planned to have the C.T.U. transport driver there be one of his guys. That would be the contingency plan of mother contingencies. He would have no way of planning on being captured by C.T.U. and then being brought to their HQ and then being moved from there. How much do you have to spend to have a man on the take in every federal agency everywhere? And why don't any of these agencies do any background checks?
9:39: Tell him, Logan, you need a way out of the darkness. Stop letting innocent Americans die. Tell him!
9:40: What are these guys going to do if President Logan doesn't
9:41: PLEASE MAKE A COPY OF THE TAPE. PLEASE! PLEASE! PLEASE! If Bierko has people in C.T.U. maybe Audrey's a traitor. You never know.
9:42: Audrey and Jack Bauer must have stinky breath right now.
9:44: Why is Charles Logan so beholden to these guys? He is like the little gang member that wants to be a big gang member and has to kill someone from the other gang so he can be a full member of the gang.
9:47: Here's the thing, not just anyone can clear all the hurdles necessary to become President of the USA. The person who becomes president must have certain personality traits that don't allow them to take no for an answer or accept defeat. So "24" is now asking me to believe that President Logan somehow became president while having none of the traits. Even his impetuous now seems to be a ruse. They want me to think he's going to kill himself to protect the guys in the room with the silly hands free things in their ears? I say NO!
9:52: Oh snap, she don't love you anymore, Charles!
9:54: Saved by the bell. Get the phone, Charles.
9:54: There is hope yet, eh, Charles?
9:54: Miles the Snake is SUCH A BITCH. Looks like he's got a new snake charmer.
9:56: Why do these ceremonial guns that people have always seem to come with bullets?

0 JBKC, 0 tortures, 0 NJBD, Prediction Ratio n/a
Who knows anymore? I mean, really. There's nothing left to say. No one died today, which is odd. I think this is the first time all season.
Totals for the season, 36 JBKCs, 5 tortures, 127 NJBDs, Prediction Ratio 45% (5 out of 11)

24: Episode 20, 2 AM - 3 AM

Key Words: 24, Jack Bauer,

I sense this might be a kind of let down episode like a few weeks ago. We'll see.

9:08: So far, nothing special. Except I bet Chloe tells the hotel bar drunk guy off at some point.
9:10: Good to know that "24" thinks so highly of air marshals. JBKC: 1 (Air Marshal)
9:17: Is she trying to tell Mike or not? The First Lady not doing a very good job of being quiet.
9:18: The problem is that the First Lady doesn't have any credibility left, so it's really hard to figure out what she's up to. The writers can really do whatever they want. If they want to go Lady Godiva with her, they could do that and no one would really be able to tell.
9:20: I can't tell if it's me or if there's nothing going on in the show right now.
9:21: The president can be pretty smart when he wants to be. Wait a second. How can we believe that he is smart enough now to outsmart his wife, when he's been as dumb as a paperweight all season.
9:21: Ah, here we go… Time for some action.
9:23: I thought this was some sort of diplomatic flight? Doesn't it seem like a commercial flight to you? Why is there an air marshal on a commercial flight?
9:30: Uh oh, Jack Bauer, better get out of there. Something bad is happening that couldn't have been foreseen.
9:32: Nice. I think that may have been one of the best things Chloe has ever done. She should add the taser to her normal repertoire.
9:34: Jack Bauer knows so much about airplanes that he is able to adjust the flight pattern from the baggage hold. Absolutely amazing. He never ceases to amaze.
9:35: This has got to be the worst air marshal of all time. Getting knocked out originally and now not doing anything when he has a gun pointed on him.
9:42: Now Miles knows that Karen Myers is screwing around. Miles is a lot like Dwight Schroot. We all know that guy.
9:42: Mike Novick is the perfect person for Miles to be calling right now. This is going to turn everything around. I hope.
9:43: "A soft Q and A". Maybe Miles just wishes it was him getting the soft q and a.
9:45: See here's a situation where the President is going to use the Secret Service as his palace guard. I could see that happening in the next couple years.
9:51: I wonder how long Chloe can keep electrocuting this guy without anyone noticing.
9:51: Why did it take so damn long to find out about the pilot? They can do and not do whatever they want and it doesn't ever seem to bother people that the time of tasks changes drastically depending on what needs to be done when… Oh well.
9:54: Can Jack Bauer fly the plane? Can he? What do you think? It doesn't matter! Yay, Jack Bauer. Now how's he going to escape the Secret Service/Palace Guard?
9:54: I bet Jack Bauer can fly the plane. CAN JACK BAUER PLEASE PLAY THE TAPE FOR SOMEONE ELSE? PLEASE! JUST PUT IT ON LOOP ON THE AIR TRAFFIC CONTROL SO SOMEONE CAN RECORD IT. I can't stand it.
9:56: Art imitating life with the plane being shot down? I don't even want to suggest it. 9:56: Isn't the plane supposed to be landing really soon? They said 15 minutes a while go

1 JBKC, 0 tortures, 0 NJBD, Prediction Ratio n/a
I was right, nothing really happened. Why didn’t the co-pilot crash the plane? All the other folks were willing to die to protect the secret. AND, how could it possibly have been arranged that the co-pilot able to meet Henderson and then fly the most commercial "diplomatic" flight of all time? We'll never know.
Totals for the season, 36 JBKCs, 5 tortures, 127 NJBDs, Prediction Ratio 45% (5 out of 11)

24: Episode 19, 1 AM - 2 AM

Key Words: 24, Jack Bauer,

Has anyone seen The Sentinel yet? I wonder if it's as totally crappy as "24". Post a comment if you've seen it. I'm glad that they showed the scene from last week where Jack Bauer let Christopher Henderson escape again, this time, after giving him the only evidence linking the President to everything.

9:04: Jack Bauer makes leaders of the most powerful military of the world beg for forgiveness. Yes, he does.
9:04: So Chloe wasn't able to use satellites to track Henderson either of the 3 other times he got away when she could have used all the C.T.U. resources. But now, when she's using Buchanon's computer (which she sneered at by the way) they're able to do what Jack Bauer has been begging for all day. That makes total sense.
9:05: Jesus, now CHLOE is telling people she doesn't work for them? Great. Soon it will be Curtis, too. It's about the subnets and the VPNs, didn't you know that?
9:10: "Audrey, please get back in the car." I see Jack Bauer and Audrey sometime down the road when they're lost and Jack Bauer says something like, "Audrey, we're not lost, and NO, I'm not asking for directions."
9:11: Jack Bauer says that Christopher Henderson doesn't bluff, but wasn't Christopher Henderson bluffing when he was willing to let Jack Bauer shoot his wife?
9:12: Jessie and I want to know why Heller doesn't just drive off the road. OH SNAP. Well, we meant kind of like under trees or something, not off a cliff into a river. I hope he has his swim floats. NJBD: 1 (Secretary Heller by the water).
9:13: "Do it. Kill him, Jack." Where does Audrey get off. If she had just waited in the car, they wouldn't be in this mess. Or something. The characters can go back and forth 100 times in 24 hours between whether or not they want to kill people or save them for prosecution.
9:18: Oh, it's that guy. Which movie is he from? This is the second or third Wizard of Oz, moment. How does this guy work with the sketchy phone guy from earlier in the season? Do they call each other up and demand things of each other?
9:19: It must be hard to be crazy and be the first lady. You think you're entitled to being treated with the ultimate respect, but at the same time, no one takes you seriously and everyone patronizes you incessantly. I think the Secret Service has to step in if the president tries to kill the first lady. They do, right?
9:22: Jack Bauer is making crappy decision after crappy decision.
9:22: Jono thinks Audrey is going to die. Jessie agrees. I'm skeptical. But if she does die, it's because she bleeds to death, not because someone kills her.
9:28: "I can trace her location by looking at her binary." Sheesh, I hope you ask first.
9:29: Why are all these unhinged people able to get into positions of responsibility to national security? Don't they have background checks?
9:31: This seems like a misstep to me. But maybe telling the crazy first lady these things isn't so crazy after all. Yes, Charles, "why?"
9:32: Do you think Bush and Cheney ever worry about the scandal that could destroy the credibility of the US all over the world? I wonder if they've discussed it.
9:39: Who is this guy talking to the President like he's a little boy. No, a little girl.
9:40: I'm sorry about your father, he was great, let me go.
9:40: Christopher Henderson is good, you've got to give him that. And Audrey is LOSING IT!
9:41: I'll never understand why in these situations the Audreys never shoot the Christopher Hendersons in the toes or knees, just to get them to shut up. Audrey, if you shoot him, he'll know you're serious.
9:43: Seems like she waited just long enough to get caught. Good job, Audrey. Way to let procrastination get the better of you! Just like college.
9:44: The last time Audrey got caught from behind like that. Well… You know.
9:45: NJBD: 3 (Henderson's baddies by C.T.U.
9:46: What happened to the guy on the helicopter? How did Curtis sneak up on the house without the helicopter seeing him?
9:51: I'm not sure, but it seems like any truck that is searched underneath is going to be searched on top, right?
9:51: No one's going to hear that phone ringing? I guess not.
9:53: Come on, Karen Myers. Tell the tact. team not to go to Bill Buchanon's. Let's go, Karen, let's go!
9:54: The president who uses his own council has a fool for a client, right, right? Come on. Right? Ba, dum, dum!
9:54: Mike Novick just said, "It's been strange night." Then kind of looked sideways. That was sweet. It could have been used in several different movies.
9:56: It's too bad no one saw him. Otherwise, Jack Bauer would have stared the guy down and said, "These. Bags. Need. To. Get. On. The. Plane. Too. Man."

0 JBKC, 0 tortures, 4 NJBD, Prediction Ratio n/a
I just don't know what to think, and next week the airplane gets hiJacked (Copyright Jon O'Toole 2006)!
Totals for the season, 35 JBKCs, 5 tortures, 127 NJBDs, Prediction Ratio 45% (5 out of 11)

24: Episode 18, 12 AM - 1 AM

Key Words: 24, Jack Bauer,

Is this week's episode going to suck? I sure hope not, and our guest Jen MS hopes not also.

9:02: The president has a cell phone? That he answers by himself? Do you think he has Domino's pizza in the speed dial?
9:03: Here's the thing, "24" has done such a good job of convincing all of us that President Logan is a bumbling moron, that it's impossible to take him seriously as a criminal mastermind. That's one of the main problems with this show, they spend multiple weeks telling us one thing and then just change their minds all of a sudden and we're supposed to go along with it.
9:03: President Logan just hung up on Christopher Henderson, and then Christopher Henderson looked at his phone like, "What the hell, did the president just hang up on me?" That was great.
9:03: I STILL hate those C.T.U. phone rings. Beep Beep, Boobeep.
9:05: I like Bill Buchannon more and more every episode.
9:10: Jack Bauer is going dark. WOAH. Not dark enough, huh, Heller.
9:11: Secretary Heller thinks he's going to take the power back and be able to handle it. You know, Heller, with great power comes great responsibility.
9:16: Sometimes Chloe is good enough to realize there's a sting going on, and sometimes she's not good enough. It all depends on what the writers want to do on any given night.
9:17: Why were those security guards wearing white shirts instead of red shirts? What's going on here?
9:18: Isn't it impossible that President Logan would be able to talk to people like Karen Myers without them figuring out what he's up to.
9:19: Well, well, well, look at Mike Novick watching news updates on his razor phone by Sprint. Available at Sprint stores everywhere.
9:20: Where is Curtis during all of this? Was he replaced by Homeland?
9:21: So now Mike Novick realizes that President Logan is telling C.T.U. the military is on the search and the military said they don't know what's going on. Big goings on. When President Logan does it that means it's not a crime.
9:23: Come on, Mike, President Logan has been doing a damned good job of leading the country through the crisis over the last 18 hours. It seems like if he knew what was going to happen, he should have been doing a MUCH better job, right? It's like he had the answers to the test on a piece of paper during the test and he still was asking his neighbors what to do.
9:29: I don't think Miles is as big a jerk as he pretends to be either. I don't think Chloe is smarter than everyone either. Just with computer codes and stuff.
9:30: GIRL FIGHT!!! I don't think Chloe should have told her about President Logan's plot against America.
9:32: You can always tell the type of President that isn't getting the respect they deserve as president because they keep saying things like "I am the president, don't forget that."
9:38: First Lady Logan really isn't as young or sexy as she thinks she is. Aaron Pierce doesn't care.
9:40: President Logan as king. King Charles. He is above the law because he knows best what the country needs. I might eventually watch this season again and do a better job documenting the parallels between Charles Logan and George Bush.
9:42: Wait. Chloe was able to walk out of C.T.U. that easily? THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE A SECURE BUILDING!
9:43: Jack MacBauer. Too bad it took Jack Bauer 40 minutes to find the heated pipe, otherwise he could have been more of a factor in this episode. He could have been somebody.
9:43: JBKC: 1 (Secretary Heller's security detail)
9:50: JBKC: 1 (Henderson baddie)
JBKC: 1 (Henderson baddie)
NJBD: 1 (Secretary Heller's security detail)
JBKC: 2 (Henderson baddie)
9:51: "Our government has no integrity." That's right, but who knew Jack Bauer was a democrat?
9:53: This is so stupid. GO GET THE TAPE, JACK BAUER.
9:55: Anyone who didn't predict this ending down to being able to write out the dialogue doesn't know anything about "24"
5 JBKC, 0 tortures, 1 NJBD, Prediction Ratio n/a
Jack Bauer still needs some more JBKCs to catch up to everyone else on the show, but a couple more episodes like this and he'll be right back in the running.
Totals for the season, 35 JBKCs, 5 tortures, 123 NJBDs, Prediction Ratio 45% (5 out of 11)

24: Episode 17, 11 PM - 12 AM

Key Words: 24, Jack Bauer,


I was trying to write the "24" blog ahead of time tonight. I included sentences like "This show sucks." "I can't believe this is happening, it's totally unbelievable." "Wow, Fox has such a poor opinion of women, she's so a) dumb, b) crazy, c) evil, d) all of the above."

9:03: "Wayne, can you get us a room?" 7 words I'd never expect Jack Bauer to say.
9:04: Let's just remind everyone that this is the second time Christopher Henderson has easily escaped.
9:05: I hope Jack Bauer sutures the wound with a hair dryer, that would be the best possible way to solve this problem.
9:08: Even in his evil conniving mood, President Logan is a blame hungry troll.
9:08: Oh, a "24" special, a person who appears bad seems good. Karen Myers has second thoughts?
9:09: I wonder if Christopher Henderson hates when President Logan starts freelancing like this and calling Directors of Homeland Security with orders to apprehend Jack Bauer.
9:11: "It's starting." Silly Audrey, it's been starting for about 17 hours.
9:12: I just missed that part. Karen Myers is being used and I think she knows it.
9:19: I wonder if Heller flies in this type of plane all the time.
9:20: Isn't anyone going to wonder why the Secretary of Defense is landing in LA? Oooh, "off the manifest." That means it's OK.
9:21: Audrey Raines was able to find the tracker SO fast, they should put her in the field.
9:23: "Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, I'm the Commander in Chief and you're not."
9:25: Seriously, I don't think they need to spend any more time with the assistant's daughter storyline. Oh right, I guess they do so she can call 911.
9:32: Why don't they just have Aaron Pierce arrest the president the same way they busted up Lynn McGill.
9:33: I bet the sneaky assistant to Karen Myers ends up doing something surprising and saving some part of the day.
9:37: NJBD: 2 (EMTs)
9:41: She went from being so strong and crazy to being lame and gullible. Gross kissing, I saw an elderly couple making out outside of a Denny's once, which isn't really related, but kind of.
9:46: The recording seems to prove the idea that the president was getting used. He seemed angry, stupid, and blaming on the phone, that means it wasn't faked.
9:54: This music is stupid. Good thinking, Chloe, bathroom jokes are always the best way to get out of trouble.
9:55: I kind of feel like if these guys really were patriots, they wouldn't be shooting cops. Another incongruity with the show, it's SO implausible.
9:56: NJBD: 6 (cops and baddies, bank manager). I wish the bank manager hadn't died. He was one of the good ones, he was.
0 JBKC, 0 tortures, 8 NJBD, Prediction Ratio n/a
Jack Bauer is really getting outclassed on the killings lately, he'd better catch up. I'm watching this show now, only for the blog, it's pathetic.
Totals for the season, 30 JBKCs, 5 tortures, 122 NJBDs, Prediction Ratio 45% (5 out of 11)