The Office - Why Have you Forsaken Me?

Last Thursday I watched NBC's premiere of The Office. While watching, I couldn't help thinking it was so bad they may cancel it before it comes back from the next commercial. This show is very bad. It makes me sad how bad it is. I can't imagine it airing for three more episodes, let alone the rest of the season. That's a shame though because I LOVED the BBC series that The Office is based on, incidentally called The Office, as well. (From here on, when I write "The Office", I'm referring to the BBC masterpiece. When I write "NBC's Piece of Crap", I'm referring to the piece of crap that was on NBC tonight.)

The Office is one of those things that happens to me once or twice a year, the type of experience I envy other people for not experiencing it yet. I know how much they'll love it and remember how I felt the first time I loved it, too. And it's one of those things that make me angry at other people, as well. I've told them repeatedly how excellent and truly original it is, but for some reason, they refuse to watch it. Yes, I take it personally. No, I'm not related to Ricky Gervais.

NBC's Piece of Crap has none of this magic. Instead of being painfully awkward like the original, it is awkwardly painful to watch. And since a lot of the jokes are recycled (and not very well) from the original, NBC's Piece of Crap is not only terrible and a disappointment, knowing most of the punch-lines makes it boring as well. And yet, the recycled jokes are the most redeeming quality of the program. The laughingly bad attempt to recreate brilliant scenes brings the original to mind, the memory of which causes a quick chuckle, and then I remember where I am and cringe.

Watching NBC's Piece of Crap is like when you were growing up and tried to hang out with your best friend and their really annoying cousin from New York. You love your best friend and want to tolerate the cousin so that you can continue playing with his Coleco Vision. You can see a resemblance between your best friend and his cousin, but you can't, in your seven year old brain, understand how two totally different personalities could be related. This has two possible outcomes, usually one or the other, but sometimes both. 1) Your friend's mom stops calling your mom for a play-date when she realizes you and the cousin always end up in a fight in the basement. 2) You see the station wagon across the street with the NY plates and tell your mom that you've decided to decline the invitation to Chuckie Cheeze because you hate your best friend. Of course, you become friends again as soon as the station wagon pulls away on Sunday afternoon.

It will be interesting to see if NBC's Piece of Crap shows up on its regularly scheduled slot, Tuesday at 9:30 PM. Will I be watching? Of course, I crave memories of the Office and maybe this week will be better. Besides, I don't want to miss anything!

Girlfriend Vacation Running Journal 3

10:15 AM Again, not as late as I'd have liked, but respectable, maybe I'll take a nap later on. I'm still expressing my displeasure by staying in bed for a couple hours this morning. I'll read the Globe sports page, slashdot, and anything else that catches my fancy.
12:35 PM I like Mark Cuban's blog, and I'm not ashamed!
12:43 PM Wow. This French site has pictures of the "transparent" backgrounds people are putting on their Macs. Imagine lifting your computer up and taking a picture of what is behind it. Then put that picture on you Mac desktop so you can "see through" the computer.
1:35 PM Shower. Didn't really get very dirty since yesterday, but a habit is a habit.
1:50 PM Eating cereal and reading Rolling Stone. I just like the People-esque section that talks about the different gossip. Most of the articles bore me. Though I did read an article about Suge Knight a couple years ago that gave me nightmares.
2:30 PM I tried adding pictures to the blog. I am using Ourmedia.org to do this and so far it's not working.
2:52 PM Decided to use up all the outstanding gift certificates I have. First up, $10.00 at iTunes. This is hard, I want to get something I'll like, but I can't find anything that's a certain hit. In desperation, I bought The Promise Ring's "Nothing Feels Good".
3:10 PM JR just called to let me know she's about 100 miles away. I better hurry if I want to have a good goal achievement percentage.
3:18 PM Next up, $90.00 at Smalldog.com. Game or External Hard drive?
4:32 PM After much discussion and misgivings I finally chose a hard drive only to find my credit rejected. I'll have to figure that out tomorrow. I have to go pick up JR in 20 minutes so I don't know how to prioritize my last few minutes of freedom. The $75 at Amazon will have to wait until later this evening.
5:53 PM I left to pick up JR signifying the end of "Girlfriend Vacation".

My best guest without reexamining the goals, I'd have to say I was pretty productive this weekend. However since we try to base everything at AABA on science and facts, let's go through the original list one by one.
Use up gift certificates to Smalldog, Amazon, and Borders. I wasn't yet able to use the Smalldog or Border's GCs because of a problem with the websites. I added iTunes to the list, and used up the Amazon GC so I'd have to consider this goal completed.
Purchase iPod case and external harddrive (perhaps with gift certificates). I plum forgot to buy an iPod case, but my big issue was getting over the hurdle and deciding which one to get. I've done that and I'll buy the case tonight. The hard drive was all set to be ordered from Smalldog until my store credit was rejected. Completed.
Shop for groceries. Over-completed.
Watch movies and basketball. 4 movies and a couple close games. Completed.
Laundry. Completed.
Finish a few blogs I've been working on (not the GF Vacation Journal). Ideas only, not completed.
Clean around the house. Depends on the definition of clean, but I did tidy up. Completed.
Extra goals will be added as they are realized. I learned about the history of notebook computers, researched discount online brokers, the difference between AAC and MP3, worked for about 7 hours, made some lunches for work, and fleshed out my disapproval of Rick Pitino. Completed.
Sleep a lot. The bane of boyfriends everywhere. When the girlfriend goes away, all semblance of time disappears, (which is why I think it's so hard to accomplish goals). Going to sleep early becomes impossible and for silly reasons, too. I failed to complete this goal.

That gives me a 90% achievement rate, I'm an indisputable success. But I wouldn't have been able to do it without all (ha!) of you. Clearly defining my goals for you gave me a small sense of structure to my time wasting and you deserve some of the credit. Next time we'll have to set higher aspirations.

Girlfriend Vacation Running Journal 2

4:35 AM Got awoken by bad cat who was trying to climb on my bedside table. Normally, only JR is afflicted by them. Kicked both cats out and realized one had knocked my water over onto the carpet.
8:50 AM Cursed my job for conditioning my body to wake up early.
9:15 AM Decided to start my day. But to show my disapproval and reluctance, I'm going to spend the first 2 hours of the day in bed.
11:49 AM After reading a good deal of , Boston.com/globe/sports, and the RSS feed of slashdot.com, I got up to bring Another State of Mind (Netflix) to the mailbox. Instead of leaving it in our mailbox for the mailman to pick, I decided to enjoy the cloudless day and walk it down the street to the box. Hey, that could be all the going outside I do today.
12:05 PM Got back from my walk, so I'm now reading an article about The Birth of the Notebook on MobilePC. Why do I care about the history of mobile computing? One interesting fact is that portable PCs originally referred to the idea of being able to use what we now refer to as desktop computers anywhere.
12:21 PM Finished reading an article on Business 2.0 about how Apple is going to use the iPod and iTunes brand to continue kicking ass in the coming years.
12:42-1:42 PM I spent about an hour looking into discount online brokerage houses. I'm convinced there is an "Online Brokerage Association" that mandates every member must keep their fee schedule murkily confusing and make it difficult for interested investing novices to spend their money. I imagine that through an agreement between Federal Regulators and the OBA, online brokerages stay out of the regulatory spotlight by making a concerted effort to confuse and repel idiotic and impulsive consumers like me. Right now I see myself as a bleeding dolphin in the middle of the ocean. I'm being circled by sharks dressed as discount online brokerage houses. They're just waiting for me to make a decision so that they can eat me alive with hidden fees and surcharges. Individual sharks keep making a run at me, woosh, there goes an Ameritrade hammerhead, swish, a Scottrade great white. With whom will I invest? I don't know. But for now I've been sufficiently scared off. But I will swim again.
1:46 PM My arcane and indisputably geeky New Year's resolution was to track every cent I earned and spent this year. In that name I updated my Quicken records.
1:53 PM I need a new password system. I continually forget the passwords on my credit card site.
2:15 PM I Tried to figure out the difference between audio files in MP3 format compared to audio files in AAC format. I think I might have been going about things all wrong for the last year by ripping everything into 128 MP3. I don't ever really hear a difference, but I guess AAC takes up less space?
3:00 PM Took a shower to prepare for going to the grocery store.
3:34 PM The productivity begins right now. I'm going to throw in a load of laundry, go to the pet store and the grocery store and then clean. Or at least the laundry and stores.
5:22 PM For proof to the old adage don't go shopping on an empty stomach see AC's Shopping Trip on the 26th of March, 2005. Talk about bleeding dolphin in the middle of the ocean, I didn't stand a chance. I bought 3 of everything that I don't need. I see a sale on things I eat and buy a lot of it. This does keep me from having to go to the grocery store, but did I need 4 pints of Ben and Jerry's? I still haven't eaten the Ben and Jerry's I bought when it was on sale a couple weeks ago.
Let the productivity continue.
6:15 PM Cleaned toilet, bedroom, coffee table. Started working on spreadsheet again. Watched West Virginia totally blow a lead and lose to Louisville and Rick Pitino. I don't even like the Celtics very much, but I hate Rick Pitino. He wrote a book called "Success is a Choice" and that may be true, but if it is, why the F would you choose anything except success? And if you know it's a choice why would you make the decision to sign Travis Knight? There's only one explanation: Rick Pitino chose to fail while coaching the Celtics which makes his tenure here even worse, because he failed on purpose.
8:15 PM Started cooking and cleaning the kitchen. Pasta and chicken in different forms make up the majority of my diet, so I'm making a pound of chicken sausage, a pound of pasta and some sauce. I'll make several meals out of this that I can bring to work this week. Or else I'll just leave it on the stove and eat it until JR comes home tomorrow, it's probably what I should have done yesterday. Up until this point all I've eaten today is a banana and some ice cream. I'm pretty hungry.
9:34 PM Finally sated. It didn't come out as well as I would have hoped, but dinner is finally eaten.
9:38 PM Starting Outfoxed (Netflix).
9:45 PM Decided to work for an hour and paused Outfoxed.
10:45 PM Back on Outfoxed.
12:10 AM Outfoxed is over. It was pretty good. It seemed to me it was the film version of "Lies and the Lying Liars who Tell Them."
1:00 AM I'm going to get into bed and watch a little bit of Closer, my second Jude Law movie in two days.
3:15 AM Damn it! I watched the entire thing. What was I thinking? Closer was pretty good, but I happen to hate most movies that were plays first. There is something different about dialogue written for the stage as opposed to the screen. People in plays and movies of plays tend to say stuff you wouldn't hear in real life and the conversations are almost always between two people only. Also, the timing always seems off, like the characters wait an extra beat before saying anything at all, which is what drives me craziest about this genre of film. Next time you have a conversation, try to get the other person to agree to count to one before responding to anything you say and you'll know what I mean.

Girlfriend Vacation Running Journal 1

JR is in NY this weekend, which means I'm on Girlfriend Vacation. Every time she goes away I have high hopes of really getting some stuff done. Why can't I get this "stuff" done when she's here? I don't know. Why can't I ever get this stuff done when she goes away? I don't know, but I think it has something to do with heaping too much onto my plate. But without fail, it always ends up Sunday night and I wonder what I actually DID DO over the weekend because I haven't realized a quarter of the goals I set out to achieve. This weekend, will be different, though, not because I'll achieve any higher percentage of my goals, but because I'll at least have a record of my actions. To do this, I'm going to keep a running journal of my weekend.
But first a listing of goals in no real order of priority:
Use up gift certificates to Smalldog, Amazon, Borders.
Purchase iPod case and external harddrive (perhaps with gift certificates).
Shop for groceries.
Watch movies and basketball.
Laundry.
Finish a few blogs I've been working on (not the GF Vacation Journal).
Clean around the house.
Extra goals will be added as they are realized.
Sleep a lot.

Without further adieu:
4:40 PM Got home from dropping JR off at the bus station. I forgot I would be driving when we left and I didn't bring my wallet. Luckily, I didn't need it.
4:50 PM Read Salon.com's political blog, War Room. It was dominated by different stories about the Republicans unsuccessful efforts to politicize Terri Schaivo. More than likely, her name will be all but forgotten in a month. I don't feel positively or negatively about that, I just think the news cycle is so fast that stories don't stay around for very long. Remember the tsunami? Remember the elections in Iraq and Palestine? Remember steroids?
5:25 PM Worked on complicated (for me) Excel spreadsheet for work.
7:00 PM Shooed bad cats off of kitchen table and continued working on spreadsheet.
7:09 PM Shooed bad cats off of kitchen table again and decided to start watching Another State of Mind, a movie about a tour across the country in 1984 with Youth Brigade and Social Distortion. It's supposed to be one of the first and best punk documentaries. Still working on spreadsheet.
8:30 PM Another State of Mind is over. I wish it had been better, but it was interesting seeing Mike Ness so young and seemingly healthy. Although, Youth Brigade put together the tour and seemed to headline, it seemed like Social Distortion was more popular. At least it seemed like they had more money than Youth Brigade. SD all ended up flying home from DC when the bus broke down for the umpteenth time, while Youth Brigade and the road crew drove home in the back of a UHaul truck.
8:31 PM Fed cats evening snack. They're on a schedule now where they get a small meal in the early evening and then a big meal in the late meal. This should keep them from crying for food in the morning and waking us up. Unfortunately, they wake us up anyway, but not because they're hungry. I think it's because they're bad cats.
8:32 PM Back to work on the spreadsheet.
9:45 PM Quit working on spreadsheet. Major problem was coming up with a solid formula to calculate the percentage of change (both positive and negative). I was able to get it to calculate positive growth and also to calculate negative change, but not at the same time.
10:00 PM Ate my new favorite 'easiest meal ever'. Poached egg and cheese wrap. It takes about 3 minutes to make.
10:14 PM Scooped poop from kitty litter box. One of the bad cats hasn't learned to cover his poop and therefore fills the entire house with a terrible smell twice a day.
10:21 PM Started watching Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow. UNC-Villanova is on the muted TV, though my bracket is in absolute shambles.
10:58 PM JR calls to check in and say good night. She had really good Indian food, I'm going to have some ice cream.
12:06 AM Finished Sky Captain. It was OK. I liked how it seemed like I was watching a comic book the entire time. It seemed to black and white with a little blush on the cheeks every now and then. Silly plot. You just don't expect movies to have only one major problem for the heroes to solve. This one did.
1:00 AM Fed the cats and went to bed.

Free Online Tax Filing--While It Lasts

One thing that many people don't know this tax season is that, because of an agreement between the Free File Alliance, LLC and the IRS, most Americans are eligible to prepare their taxes online and e-file using the websites of well known tax software companies. "The FFA was founded several years ago by a consortium of software companies who wanted to keep the government out of the tax-software business. At the time, the IRS was thinking of offering its own free tax-preparation software in order to encourage people to file their returns electronically. The IRS has set a goal of receiving 80 percent of all returns electronically by 2007." How's the government doing with that goal? Well, they expect 67 million people to file electronically this year.

Besides the speed of receiving one's return, the other great thing about using tax software to prepare a tax return is the way that they prompt the user along asking question after question in easy to understand language. Unlike most of my peers, I didn't receive any W-2s last year, but I did receive two 1099-MISCs for work I did as an independent contractor. Yup, you can even use the software to prepare multiple Schedule Cs. Sounds great, and it is. Unless of course, you're trying to use H & R Block's offering.

Two years ago, I used Intuit's online Turbotax software. I don't remember much about it, except that in the top right hand corner there was an ever-changing number totaling how much I owed or would get back. It was kind of like a fiscal scoreboard in a grudge match between me and Uncle Sam. I used H&R Block's online software last year after getting a coupon for it. I could have filed for free last year, as well, but I procrastinated and missed the deadline. (Rejoice underpaid America, for this year there is no deadline to file for free.) H&R Block was clumsy, and didn't have the fiscal scoreboard, but it worked well enough. This year, I decided to use H & R Block again, so as to take advantage of what I thought was the most key feature, importation of last year's information!

So I gather my various 1099-MISCs, 1099-INTs, 1099-Rs, 1098-Es, and Form 5498s rollover and settle in to compete against Uncle Sam on the hallowed playing fields, walked on by most Americans, with the notable exception of Al Capone. My own private version of March Madness, winner take all, or, if not all, plenty enough coin for several 20 pound bags of Iam's Adult.

Through two tortureous sessions of self-doubt and misgivings, I slaved away. I quickly discovered two bugs with using H&R Block with Safari on a Mac. 1) After a few minutes, regardless of whether I had been idle or slaving away, a warning would pop up saying I would be automatically logged out in five minutes if I did not click cancel (clicking OK would log me out immediately). I can understand this safeguard if I've actually been idle, but it gets annoying when it POPS UP EVERY THIRTY SECONDS. 2) Often H&R Block will ask if I have more questions or want more information. I found out that clicking these links did nothing and I was relegated to trying to understand the different deductions and recaptures as best I could. These links didn't work at all on a Mac; I tried the site on both Firefox to check (IE wouldn't even load the software).

Finally, FINALLY, I finished and got ready to file only to find out that H&R Block wanted $49.95 for the priviledge of filing my tax return. I was disconsolate, beyond disappointed, and completely without recourse. It was my fault, though, if the pop ups had worked on a Mac, I wouldn't have imported last year's information (and I wouldn't have been on H&R Block's site in the first place). Knowing it wouldn't do any good, but wanting to get some satisfaction from my experience, I decided to ignorantly chat with a site technician from H&R Block. As far as customer service goes, this woman was an accountant, if you know what I mean. For your enjoyment, I've included a copy of the chat below. There will be bonus points if you can figure out BB's quote of the day.

In the end, I used Turbotax off of the website Statetaxfreedom.com, and I suggest all of you do the same. It was much faster (using Firefox), much easier, much prettier, and, best of all, I was able to keep an eye on my fiscal scoreboard. How'd I do? Let's just say JR, James, Charlie and I will have plenty of Iam's Adult for the next year.

Welcome to H&R Block. Please wait while we find an agent to assist you...
You are currently at position number 1 in the queue.
All agents are currently busy. Please stand by.
An agent will be with you in a moment. Thank you for your patience.
The next available Agent will be with you in a moment.
You are currently at position number 1 in the queue.
All agents are currently busy. Please stand by.
You have been connected to BB.
BB: Hello AARON, welcome to H & R Block's Live Technical Support Chat! How can we assist you today?
AC: Hi,
AC: I went to HR Block through IRS.Gov and thought my federal and state return would be free.
AC: I'm being asked for $49.95.
BB: So, just to make sure that I understand your issue, you are being charged but you want to free file?
AC: Yes
BB: I can help you with that.
BB: To do that:

1. Navigate your browser to www.irs.gov
2. Create a new account with new user ID and password from the H&R Block link. Note: If you used this FREE filing Program in previous years, to use it again, you must create a new account and not import from last years return.
3. Complete your taxes.
4. You will receive your federal return for free if you meet the adjusted gross income criteria.
AC: I didn't realize I needed to use a different account and not import from last year.
BB: Is there anything else we can assist you with today?
AC: I already finished my return.
BB: Unfortunately, if you want to free file, you must follow the steps above.
BB: Is there anything else we can assist you with today?
AC: So should I start over on Turbotax?
BB: I cannot make that decision for you.
BB: Is there anything else we can assist you with today?
AC: I don't feel like you assited me. Unfortunately I don't think I'll ever be using HR Block tax software again. At the beginning of the session I tried to click "What Happens If I Import" and the dialog box never came up.
BB: Is there anything else we can assist you with today?
AC: I used a Mac and tried on Safari and Firefox. HR Block wouldn't even load on IE.
BB: Below is a list of supported operating systems and browsers for the online products.

Note: Your browser must be set up to accept cookies, Java and JavaScript.

Supported Operating Systems and Browsers

Windows 95:
- Internet Explorer 5 and 5.5
- Netscape 6.2 and 7
- AOL6, 7

Windows 98:
- Internet Explorer 5, 5.5 and 6
- Netscape 6.2 , 7
- AOL6, 7, 8 and 9

Windows ME:
- Internet Explorer 5.5 and 6
- Netscape 6.2 and 7
- AOL6, 7, 8 and 9

Windows NT:
- Internet Explorer 5, 5.5 and 6
- Netscape 6.2 and 7
- AOL5 and 6

Windows 2000:
- Internet Explorer 5.5, 6
- Netscape 6.2 and 7
- AOL6, 7, 8 and 9

Windows XP:
- Internet Explorer 6
- Netscape 6.2 and 7
- AOL6, 7, 8 and 9

MAC OS 9.1:
- Netscape 6.2 and 7
- AOL6, 7, 8 and 9

MAC OS X:
- Internet Explorer 5.01
- Netscape 6.2 and 7
- AOL6, 7, 8 and 9

Minimum Hardware Requirements:
16 MB RAM (32 MB RAM recommended)

Note: The browser must have 128 bit encryption.

To check the encryption for Internet Explorer, follow these steps:

1. Select "Help" from the menu in Internet Explorer.
2. Choose "About Internet Explorer."
3. Look for the section that reads "Cipher Strength: 128 bit."

To check the encryption for Netscape Navigator, follow these steps:

1. Select "Help" from the menu and choose "About Navigator (or Communicator)."
2. Look for the section that reads "Contains encryption software from RSA Data Security, Inc".
3. If the next paragraph says "This version supports U.S. security", that means you have 128-bit security. If it says you have International security, that means you have 40-bit security.

Pop-Up Killers / Ad Blockers:

Ensure that third party software such as "ad blockers" or "pop-up killers" are disabled. Netscape version 7.01 has built in "ad blockers" or "pop-up killers." For more information, open the "Help" menu and choose "Help and Support Center" or visit http://help.netscape.com/default.jsp
BB: Is there anything else we can assist you with today?
BB: Thank you for contacting H&R Block, AARON, and we look forward to serving you in the future!

You know what I don't understand?

I was just watching a DVD of the second season of Alias (which, by the way, is just as crappy as the first season). In it, a character mentioned the name of their webpage and I remembered it to look at later. The page didn't really bring anything up except a silly search engine that didn't give any results unless you searched for a website that had bought an advertisement on the site.

My question is this, why don't companies ever buy these websites to point to their sites as part of their advertising budget? I can't imagine that I'm the only one who looks for these sites, and I know that these fake website names are mentioned on TV or DVDs fairly regularly.

I did a quick Google search on domain names on TV shows and I
found this blurb about Will and Grace and the Simpson's. Apparently, TV shows have started to buy the sites mentioned on their program, and this seems like a bright idea - it reinforces the alternate universe that the show inhabits. This marketing department/ writing team synergy must be fairly new, though, because it didn't apply to Conspiracychick.com, and it didn't apply to another domain mentioned on a syndicated episode of the Simpson's, the name of which I unfortunately (and conveniently hee hee hee) can't remember.

This link is especially worth clicking on:
http://www.springfieldisforgayloversofmarriage.com/wiggum.htm

How to Start a Startup

I don't want to be a working man forever. That means that I'm eventually going to need to become rich. In order to do that, I feel like my best bet is starting my own business. According to Paul Graham, "You need three things to create a successful startup: to start with good people, to make something customers actually want, and to spend as little money as possible. Most startups that fail do it because they fail at one of these. A startup that does all three will probably succeed."

I don't know who Paul Graham is, a tech guy who made good stuff at some point or another. And he's right about the 3 things needed for a good startup. Except that spending as little money as possible, and even finding good people isn't close to as hard as coming up with a good product. Having a good product won't take you all the way to success, but it definitely will allow you to make a lot of mistakes along the way.

Now, I've got some good people in mind, and I'm great at being fiscally conservative, anyone have any good products?

It’s Not Dangerous

This is from Sun Microsystems' Technology Director Tim Bray. His 10 reasons why blogging is good for your career offer even more inspiration for me to blog. I want a good career.

Jack in the Box Voicemail

JR thinks this is fake. I think it's real.

Regardless, I've been inspired to leave more messages like this for my boss. Probably can't hurt, right?

Hillary and Chuck

Yesterday afternoon an intense weather system moved over the Northeast and made for some nasty conditions. Walking across the parking lot from the train, I came as close to having a Luke Skywalker killing his ton-ton moment as I've ever had in my life. One thing that stopped me was my semi-animal friendly disposition and another thing was my lack of ton-tons. I accepted my lack of ton-tons and trudged furiously to my car.

The locks on my car have a habit of freezing up when the temperature drops suddenly. I finally got in through the passenger side after several desperate minutes in the 100 million mile an hour winds and the snow, sleet, and hail, that was actually blowing up. After I got into the car, the windshield needed serious attention, except since I couldn't get out of the driver's side door, I decided to drive home and hope the windshield wipers would do their job. They didn't and I think this driving was the worst of my life including van and trailers in torrential downpours on steep mountain roads.

Anyway, this morning, as I got into my car to drive to the train it was the first beautiful morning in a long time and I was feeling pretty good. That was until I tried shutting the door and realized that instead of my door being frozen closed and locked, the latch had frozen open. The door literally would not stay shut without my holding it. WTF, right? Although I eventually figured out that I could keep the door jammed shut by shoving an ice scraper though the armrest, I drove to the train serenaded by the "Doo-Bee-Doop" door chime. I made the best of it by pretending it was techno.

Because of traffic and my car door, I didn't make the 8:30 train to South Station. Big deal, I'd take the 9:05. Unfortunately, the 9:05 got canceled. AT FIVE PAST TEN! The 10:02? I don't know if it ever came because I left the station at 10:35 with Hillary and Chuck, two strangers I had been chatting with at the train station. After realizing the train probably wouldn't come unil 10:45 anyway, I decided to drive and figured I might as well have company (and maybe some help splitting the cost of the trip?)

Anyway, I found out a lot about Hillary, not because she talked a lot, but because I think Chuck was hitting on her and kept asking her lots of questions. Chuck was probably mid to late thirties and he worked for a marketing company from Providence that had offices in Boston. Hillary, early twenties, was a bartender for a bar near Fenway Park and illustrated children's books. She just graduated from Mass Art and lived in Attleboro with her boyfriend. Chuck moved to Attleboro about a year and a half ago to live more in the woods. Hillary's brother plays music and he's a music teacher, but he's in law school now. He's pretty good with HTML and might help her make a website to display her art. Chuck plays music on the weekends in a Pink Floyd tribute band. Hillary didn't seem to mind Chuck hitting on her and at times she even seemed to be working him for a tip, like all good bartenders. Neither of them offered any money for gas or parking.

Everyone's got interesting stories if you take a minute to ask them questions. You find out a lot more if you let someone else hit on them for a while, though.

Blog-linked firings

I work for a company that really, really REALLY wants its employees to blog about life at the company and life in general on a company hosted blog. I believe this encouragement is a no brainer - a good thing for the health of the company (the employees), while also leading to a transparency beneficial to the general public.

Admittedly, I don't have much experience in the work force, but I think my company is different and would never fire employees for posing seductively in the office.

At the same time, you never know. Opportunities abound every day for us to blog about company goings-on that don't seem too serious until magnified by the white hot heat of cyberspace. We're still a young company, and we still make mistakes so it isn't too hard imagining an employee creating a serious problem for the company (or themselves) by blogging about something they shouldn't (a client? a project they're working on? a competitor?)

The company needs to figure out a way to remain transparent, while giving employees clear guidelines for what it expects. How would these guidelines affect the integrity of the blog that is so important to the future of the company?

Mr. Roper, Mr. Roper!

I think my landlord hates me.

Admittedly, he may have reasons to, but at the same time, if he had been a good landlord in the first place, none of our run-ins would have happened.

On first glance, everything seemed peachy, we looked at the place and loved it - loved the space, loved the rent, loved the perceived landlord/tenant relationship. The guy who lived here before us seemed to have a male crush on our landlord. And it was definitely a mutual relationship. Great, I might not know anyone in this new city, but at least the landlord would be a cool guy.

Fast forward to the day of moving in. The landlord knew what day we were moving in, he had told us the back stairs might be too thin for us to move bigger furniture in and he, in fact, had even suggested we use the front stairs, as they were much more amicable to furniture moving. So what do we find in the front stairs on the day we moved in? A bunch of crap including boxes of books and a filing cabinet. After moving the crap out of the way as unobtrusively as possible, we commenced moving the bigger furniture into the house. Everything went pretty well until the couch. (In the future, I think we'll be buying all of our couches from people who deliver them. All my old couches will be destroyed with a pick axe in my livingroom and thrown out the window closest to the garbarge pick-up area.) Back to the couch. While bringing it up the stairs and trying to finagle my way around the filing cabinet, I had to do a little limbo maneuver with my feet out under the couch and in front of the filing cabinet. Momentarily, my ass was pressed against the top of the filing cabinet and it gave way a bit. The filing cabinet was now warped enough so that the top drawer didn't close flush with the sides. I tried to fix it, failed, and forgot about it in my moving-in exhaustion/euphoria. The next day, our landlord came up and seemed depressed about something. He made sure everything was OK and then asked if I remembered anything falling on the filing cabinet in the front stairs. I explained to him what had happened. He got all passive agressivey and was like, "Nah, it's OK, I'll have to get a new one, this one's busted." That's the first reason my landlord hates me.

Fast forward a couple uneventful landlord/tenant months until 3 weeks ago. He had asked if I was going to be home on Thursday to show the place to a lead inspector and I said I wouldn't be home Thursday, but I could do it all day Friday. I was actually excited to do him a favor. But then he flipped the switch on me and came home from work to show the lead inspector around on Thursday instead of Friday. Watch out! Upon leaving the apartment, he locked the door as any good landlord would do. Here comes reason number two my landlord hates me. When we moved in, the doorknob only allowed one key to work (I can only presume the original), regardless of how many copies we made. We told the landlord and he told us he'd take care of it. Days went by, weeks went by and nothing ever happened. Eventually, a doorknob set appeared by his door, an obvious reminder to him, which he ignored every time he went in or out of his house. One day, I took home improvement matters into my own hands and installed the doorknob myself. It's possible that I installed it incorrectly, but it's possible the doorknob was from the same cheap piece of crap doorknob set from whence our original doorknob came. Within days, we realized had the same problem as before (no copied keys could unlock the door). So what were we to do with 2 people and one key? Leave the door unlocked of course. Seems like a foolproof plan, but there was just one hitch. With a door permanently unlocked, we couldn't leave our landlord a key. After locking the door behind he and the lead inspector, we came home to find ourselves on the wrong side of a cheap doorknob set doing the only thing it knew how to do, which was stay locked. The landlord didn't think the predicament was too funny and had to knock the doorknob off with a hammer, which I had never thought of as a break-in technique, but it did the trick. Anyway, he was helpful and all, but not without a helping of that same passive agressivey attitude again.

The third reason my landlord hates me happened just last night. The pressure of the hot water in our bathroom sink is terrible. Remember the broken water fountain in school? Try to imagine washing your face with it and you'll get an idea of what our bathroom is like. Anyway, I finally got frustrated enough to do something about it 2 nights ago. But instead of doing the RIGHT thing and calling my landlord angrily, I tried to solve the problem myself. I went underneath the sink, twisted the nozzle all the way in one direction, turned the faucet on to no change, twisted the nozzle all the way back to way it was, turned the faucet on to still no change and went to bed upset and forlorn at the thought of many more months of cold face splashes. The next morning, yesterday, I looked under the sink to try a little harder and noticed that the nozzle seemed to have leaked a bit during the night. For good measure, I gave the nozzle a few extra twists back into it's original position and gave it not a second thought. Unfortunately, my plumbing destruction prowess is nonparalelled and the nozzle continued to leak drip by drip, hour by hour, until my landlord noticed it through HIS bathroom ceiling. Well, we came home last night to an unhappy voicemail and even less hot water pressure. Our landlord had fixed the problem. And made a notch on his belt for yet another reason why he hates me.

My point is that if he had moved the filing cabinet out of the only area suitable for bringing couches upstairs, had installed a good doorknob which accepted copied keys, and had fixed the bathroom sink which he had no doubt used in the course of his ownership of the house, none of the stuff I did to him would have happened. I'm not without blame in this relationship, that's clear, but I'm not above casting stones at him as well.

P.S. Our apartment isn't really as nice as we thought it was when we looked at it the first time. They're isn't enough light in the bathroom or living room, the front room seems to have dryer lint for insulation, the colapsed ceiling is colapsing in multiple locations, and front gate is hard to open. I feel so petty and relieved!