Mascot 1, Cris Colinsworth 0

This morning, as I was waking up, I had a ridiculous dream and I was wondering if you thought it was a problem. The New England Patriots were playing in a "Big Game" against the San Diego Chargers. I don't know the signifigance of the opposition being the Chargers, but it was the Chargers in the way you know certain facts in your dreams. Anyway, the Patriots were at the goalline when Bill Belichick inserted himself as quarterback. He was wearing his oversized gray sweatshirt and instead of a helmet, he was wearing his headset. He called for a QB sneak and ran the ball in easily, even sticking it out a little in a somewhat taunting manner.

This is where it gets interesting. I didn't see anyone hit him, but all of a sudden a Chargers player is running out of the endzone with the ball before he gets decked around the 50 yard line by, who else but, Rodney Harrison. At this point the dream turned from a linear story into a choppy highlight real. There was a Terrel Owens-esque scene of a Charger's player spiking the ball on the Patriots' midfield logo, there was a scene of Patriots players on top of Chargers players in the end zone punching the crap out of them. This was weird because the Patriots players were raising their fists and punching in unison (imagine the Rockette's in a street brawl).

Right before I woke up and as if my dream was returning from commercial, there was a scene of the Patriots mascot being held down by Cris Colinsworth in the way that players are held down during a kick off return. The mascot gets up and punches at Cris Colinsworth missing most of him and Cris Colinsworth slaps him. I didn't realize this at the time, but slapping the mascot wouldn't really hurt because he had one of those giant heads. I think in the dream, though, the mascot's head was a real giant head and not a fake giant head. This mini battle ended with the mascot decking Cris Colinsworth in the mouth and Cris Colinsworth walking way shaking his head and scowling with bloody teeth. And then I woke up. Red Sox pitchers and catchers reported on the 17th and the position players reported today. Although it is snowing outside, today is the first day of spring.